she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
