HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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