"it" just moved
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize