Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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