Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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