i was rollin on her like bob the builder
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize