I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
