You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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