I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's rum buckets o'clock
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
