I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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