My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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