what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
