why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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