She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize