i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
