Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
