I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
