what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
