Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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