Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
