my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
either way he was missing a nipple.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
