fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
