Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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