Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
