i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize