It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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