He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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