well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I party with great urgency now.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
