New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
