I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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