This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
