I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
