so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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