I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
