Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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