I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My vagina just recognized that song.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
