so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
