Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
