New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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