this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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