Sry I called you an 8
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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