Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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