Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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