Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
