We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
