I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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