pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
