I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
