Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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