A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
