R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
