I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
