I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
