Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
