no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
