i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
