I just found puke in my bra..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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