Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize