im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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