the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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